Christmas-time Activities & Church Attendance

If your ward/Stake has upcoming Christmas-related events, make sure to advertise these activities especially to your new members and less-active members. In every ward I've been in, it has been very easy to get less-active (or inactive) members to come to an activity if its Christmas-related. I believe that this is because many people (even if they aren't actively attending Church) equate the holidays with Church attendance. Going to Church at Christmas-time may be something they grew up with, even if they didn't attend Church or Church-related activities any other time of the year.

At our Ward's most recent Christmas party, we saw many people who hadn't been to Church or a Church function in 6 months or more. And a several of them brought along their non-member relatives and friends. This is a great opportunity for us to reach out and fellowship these brothers and sisters, and their friends and relatives.

Be on the lookout, also, on Christmas Day (since it falls on Sunday this year), for those less-active or inactive members who may feel inspired to attend Church BECAUSE it is Christmas. What a special opportunity for them to feel the Spirit and remember why they joined the Church in the first place!

Should I keep calling?

We have several new members (who haven't completed their new member lessons within their first year of membership) who hadn't been returning our calls for 2 or 3 months. I finally decided to stop calling these people for a while. This was partly because it wasn't getting anywhere, and partly because I suspected that if I kept calling them (when they clearly didn't want to talk to me) they would get increasing annoyed with me and/or the Church. I did continue to send them our monthly new member newsletter, I just stopped calling to try to set up appointments to visit them for a while.

Its now been several months since I stopped calling these particular people, so I felt like it was an appropriate time to take some sort of action. After prayerfully considering each person and their circumstances, I called some of the people. I had to leave voice messages, so I simply said that I wanted to speak with them about something and did not mention the new member lessons at all.

I was happy to get a return phone call today, and I sincerely apologized that I had not been in contact lately. I explained that there was a reason I had stopped calling (I explained that it was because I hadn't heard back from them in a long time, so I felt like maybe I was being a bother). I said that I didn't want them to think that I didn't care or that I'd forgotten them, because I care about them a lot. It was well received and went very well overall.

For those people who I didn't feel like I should call, I am going to send out a short letter. I got the idea from this from a sales article I happened to read recently. The article was about how to "make sales" even when people aren't returning your phone calls. The basic idea was to send a letter with a note that the person can return to you to let you know their intentions. Here is my version, which is specific to this circumstance:

Hello, just a quick note - If you're wondering why I haven't called you lately, to be honest, its because I'd been leaving voice messages for several weeks, but I wasn't getting any response. I started to worry that maybe I was being a pest. I didn't want to come across as pushy if you were too busy, or just not interested in meeting.

I didn't want you to think that I don't care or that I don't want to meet with you. Exactly the opposite, I care about you a lot and would be really happy to be able to teach you your remaining new member lessons.

I'm just not sure what the situation is if I don't hear from you, so I'm hesitant to keep calling. I've included a sheet that you can fill out and send back to me in a stamped envelope (also included). I know you're busy, so I was thinking that this might be an easy way for you to let me know whether or not you'd like to have the rest of your new member lessons at this time. If you'd rather just call or message me on facebook instead, thats fine, too. I hope you can get back to me- I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or annoyed if there is any reason you don't want me to call...

Sincerely,

(and here is the note I will include)

To help me understand if you would like me to continue to try to contact you at this time or not, please check the box that best fits your situation:

o I'm swamped right now! Try to call me again after a couple of weeks.

o Don't quit trying. I do want to meet with you, I'm just hard to get a hold of.

o I'm have family/personal issues that are preventing me from meeting with you at my home, but I would like to meet with you at a different home or at another place like a restaurant.

o Don't call me, I've got personal reasons why I can't meet with you right now, but I'll call you soon when I am able to meet.

o I'm not interested in having the rest of my new member lessons at this time, please don't contact me for a while.

Return this sheet to me in the envelope provided (or, if you prefer, you can just call me at ___-___-____)

Thanks so much,

You may notice that I left out more negative choices (such as "I hate you, never call me again," or "Take my name off your Church records"). I tried to keep it positive and encourage the best possible response. Even if a person chooses the "I'm not interested in having the rest of my new member lessons at this time, please don't contact me for a while" option, I've still tried to word it in a positive way and I've left it open so that I can still contact them again "in a while." Of course, they might write in their own option, or just not respond at all, but at this point I would rather know something than just keep wondering where they stand.

Advice from a formerly less-active friend

I have a good friend who joined the church when we were college roommates (a hundred years ago, give or take 80 years). She subsequently went through a long period of inactivity and eventually returned to the Church, just a few years ago.

I was chatting with her online the other day, and I did a little grumbling about some frustrating situations I'm struggling with as part of my calling. I was so stressed with worrying about some of the less-active new members in our ward that I didn't know what to do anymore. Her responses were very wise, and helped me get the correct perspective on some things that I'd been struggling with and worrying over for a long time.

Since her insights were so helpful to me, I thought I'd share them in case any of you might be having some of the same issues in your wards.

ISSUE #1- Taking things personally
I take things personally - when less-active members won't answer/return my calls, when people say they don't feel welcome at church after I've done everything I can to befriend them, etc. It makes me feel sad and I spend a lot of time wondering what I could have done better.

HER ADVICE - "I think taking things personally is equal to being sensitive...don't you? Being sensitive is actually a blessing and while I don't always react to those feelings in the best way, I am grateful for it because it brings with it an awareness of other's feelings, the ability to be more compassionate, and recognize the needs of others... I think those are really special gifts...and I think having those (gifts) is worth the hurt that happens every so often when I take something personally and have my feelings hurt"

ISSUE #2- Keeping Commitments?
I don't understand when people make baptismal covenants and then don't seem to have any intention of keeping them (such as never returning to church). I don't understand why they were baptized if its not an important commitment to them.

HER ADVICE - "You are right about commitment - living the gospel isn't "easy" if you don't really want it. And I think the hardest place to live is uncommitted, I know it was for me for years. But you can't bring their commitment to the table, so to speak. You can't be committed enough for them. I heard a quote the other day that said "Don't listen to the whine of those who want to live a mediocre life and want you to do the same so they don't feel guilty"

ISSUE #3- Why won't less-active new members accept my help/friendship?
I feel responsible for inactivity of new members, regardless of how much effort I have put in, because it is part of my responsibility to fellowship them. Many of these people claim they don't feel welcome, and I want to befriend & help them, but they keep rejecting me.

HER ADVICE: "Their whine about not being fellowshipped is an excuse not to live the gospel. You better believe when I was considering coming back to church I avoided ANYONE who had anything to do with it ... So I avoided calls, knocks at the door, etc, and it was hell. Because living uncommitted to what we know is true is hard work, but we want to pretend like it is easy. Converts become inactive because they choose to. I chose to make excuses because I was scared of living what I had learned.

ISSUE #4- If less-active new members won't come to church or let me visit them, how can I help them?


HER ADVICE: "My journey (back to activity) taught me many things and I came back... partly because of women in my life who didn't judge, but remained true and steady. Really what more can you do?"

I can't even tell you how much better I felt after our conversation... I was able to see what I can do for people who continually turn me away - don't judge, don't get offended, don't lose hope - remain steady and available for them. I don't need to drive myself crazy trying to figure out how to invent some new way to get through to people who aren't ready to come back yet. If I stay a true and faithful friend, I will be here when they are ready. Like I was for my college roommate. And thats not nothing, that's something. SOMETHING GREAT.

General Conference Printables for Kids

I really try to convey the message that Conference weekend is not a 'week off' of church - members of the Church are expected to watch the Conference broadcasts. Most long-time members don't need to be told that, but new members and investigators might not realize that it is important.

Here is an idea I had for encouraging investigators and new members with children to watch the General Conference Broadcasts this weekend...Why not print out some activities for them to do during Conference? Most of these activities (like Conference bingo) require them to watch the Conference, so I think this will make it more interesting for the kids and may help the parents be motivated to watch as well.

There are a lot of blogs and sites with printables for Conference, but I like the ones that the Church is providing on their website. You could just provide a link to those who would like to print their own, but printing them yourselves and then taking the pages to the family's home some time this week might be more effective. Hey, maybe invite them to watch Conference at your home (or with you at your meetinghouse) while you're at it!


CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE OFFICIAL CHURCH WEBSITE PAGE FOR PRINTABLE GENERAL CONFERENCE ACTIVITIES

Reaching out to the Less-Active - part 1

"This is the first post in a series of posts that will be called, "Reaching out the Less-Active"...

Lately, I've been thinking about our brothers and sisters who have become what we call "less-active"...meaning that they don't attend Church meetings or participate in the Church regularly anymore. Many of these men and women were less-active (or totally inactive) long before I ever heard their name. Even more disheartening for me are those converts who I have seen go through the conversion process, but have now fallen away.

Why have these people fallen away? What could have been done differently to help prevent this from happening? What can we do to help these people return to enjoy the full blessings of the gospel?

In the parable of the sower found in Matthew 13:3-8, we learn that the type of ground that a seed lands in impacts the future productivity of the seed. A seed that lands on rocky ground, for example, soon begins to grow, but doesn't develop any deep roots. Without a secure root system, it doesn't have any stability or sufficient long-term nourishment...so, as soon as the sun comes out, the seed dries up and dies.

According to Jesus' explanation of this parable (Matthew 13:18-23), a seed that has fallen on "the stony ground" is like a convert who is very excited about the gospel. However, without a strong testimony and support system, the convert only continues on as an active Church member for a short time. These people (and the other types of "seeds" mentioned in the parable) become disinterested when the full-time missionaries are transferred, are drawn away by old habits or the ways of the world, become ashamed when persecuted, or are offended by some small thing, etc, etc. Basically, any of these issues can become a problem without a firm foundation.

There are many reasons why a person may no longer be an actively participating Church member. Reactivation of the "lost sheep" is the duty of every Ward member in a general sense, but as Ward-missionaries we may not have the specific responsibility to seek out and reactive every man and woman in our area. This usually falls under the jurisdiction of the Relief society and Priesthood quorums. However, reactivation is part of missionary work. One area that Ward-missionaries might especially focus on is the reactivation of recent converts who have fallen away, or who may not be progressing as they should.


To do so, its important that we understand why people fall away (or fail to progress), what we can do help them come back, and what we can do to prevent the same thing from happening to others in the future. In upcoming posts, I will cover some of these other topics. Today I want to provide some information about WHY...


I have selected some quotes that directly apply to this topic: ("Feed My Sheep" - Elder Ben B. Banks)

"We ask ourselves, 'Why is it that some who were once warm in the faith have grown cold in the faith?' ...We must succeed in our efforts to strengthen those who have grown cold in their faith. To begin this endeavor, it would be well for us to know the feelings and reasons why they do not attend meetings and participate in the fellowship of the Saints.

Most active members believe that less-active members behave differently because they don't believe the Church's doctrine. A study by the Church's Research Information Division does not support this assumption. It shows that almost all less-active members interviewed believe that God exists, that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that the Church is true.

As part of another study, a group of active members who previously had been less active were asked why they did not attend church previously. The most common reasons given were:

Feelings of unworthiness.
Personal or family problems.
Parents or spouse were less active.
Teenage rebelliousness or laziness.
Conflicts with work schedules.
Church too far away, lacked transportation.

Understanding the true reasons why people become inactive should be the first step in helping them return - AND in helping to prevent the same thing from happening to others in the future.

Who should you approach FIRST?

Every once in a while, missionary work comes up in a Sacrament meeting talk or a Sunday School lesson. Now if you're like me, the first thing you think is, "Well, I would help, but I can't think of anyone to talk to" Now, for me, that is usually true. We've moved pretty frequently, I don't work outside the home, I have a newborn baby, I homeschool, and I've never had the greatest luck in moving next to amiable neighbors. So, aside from relatives, do I know anyone in the area outside the church? Not really. Its not that I'm trying to be exclusive, its just that I'm kind of a home-body at this stage in my life.

Even if you do work outside the home, or volunteer, its not always appropriate to directly speak to people in those situations about our beliefs. Or maybe you feel uncomfortable doing so. Or maybe you've already tried and didn't receive what you'd consider a warm response! According to the Church Handbook of Instructions, one of the responsibilities of a ward missionary is finding people to teach. Seriously- don't panic! It will be okay - I've got a very, VERY EASY idea for you...

Are a visiting teacher or home teacher? I'm guessing you probably are. (If you aren't, call your RS President or EQ President RIGHT NOW and tell them that you want to be! There are never enough visiting/home teachers to go around and there are so many families that could really use a visit!). If you have a visiting/home teaching route, you're most likely assigned at least one less-active or part-member family. Am I right?

Did you know that the full-time missionaries often contact less-active members and part-member families? These members are some of the best resources for finding people to teach. Why do you suppose that is? These families are almost always a source of new investigators because they usually have non-member family members who are already somewhat familiar with the church and probably know other members. Because of their previous contact with the church, they are much more likely to be receptive to learning more or taking the next step (attending church, baptism, receiving the priesthood, temple ordinances, etc)

This same concept can work in a similar way for ward missionaries. I typically have had 2 or 3 sisters on my visiting teaching route that are less-active. For me, contacting these sisters is less intimidating than approaching a non-member neighbor or co-worker, since I know that they already have a history with the church. Their involvement may range from "hasn't been to church in 40 years because she was offended" to "wants to come to church but needs ride." At least I know (I tell myself as I'm dialing the number of a sister I don't know) they haven't requested that their name be removed from the church records, so thats a "positive"! Don't be scared to contact these less-active sisters / families. Everyone needs a friend in the church and you may be the only one who's ever been willing to reach out and try.

Everyone needs a friend. Being a friend is a really big part of missionary work. When we have something incredible in our lives, we naturally want to share that with others. Christ is the ultimate example of friendship. He is an unconditional friend to us and He invites us to follow Him. Lets follow His example - Contacting your visiting / home teaching families is a great (and easy!) way to start!