Missionary/Member Etiquette (for ward members)

This is an post that I originally wrote about a year ago, but thought it might be helpful to repost...

I came across a blog post called, Ten Little Points of Missionary Etiquette on the 'Mormon Insights' blog...This is a list of suggestions of things that we as members can do (or not do) to avoid unknowingly putting the full-time missionaries in awkward situations. For example, most people know that missionaries are required to keep "arm's-length" distance from people of the opposite sex, but many members don't feel like that counts if they're much older (or married) or if the missionary is about to be transferred - especially if they've worked closely with the missionary. Really, the rule applies to everyone...this prevents Elders and Sisters from needing to make constant judgement calls about who its ok to hug and who its not.

So, if I were to try to hug one of our Ward's full-time missionary Elders (no matter how innocent my intentions) it would create an awkward and potentially embarrassing situation for the Elder, who would have to make the choice to reject my hug (potentially offending me) or to have to break the rule because he didn't want to be rude.

I served a full-time mission as a young adult and I can relate to almost all of the items pointed out in the Ten Little Points of Missionary Etiquette article... I actually (jokingly) kept a mental list of all the platonic "hugs" that I got from male investigators, new members, branch presidents, etc. I was very serious about keeping mission rules, but sometimes it was just really awkward to reject something innocent like that from a tearful and well-meaning person (especially an elderly married man) on the day you're getting transferred.

This list isn't meant to make anyone feel bad, especially since many members do some of these things without realizing that they are either #1- against mission rules, or #2- may make the missionary feel uncomfortable. Its just meant to be a list of suggestions of things that you may not have thought about that you can do to help the full-time Elders or Sisters you work with concentrate on their work and spend less time being distracted.

Here is the list that the blog "Mormon Insights" gives, along with my comments added in red font:

1. Don't pay a compliment to one missionary without also paying a compliment to his/her nearby companion. Sometimes one missionary is very charismatic or good-looking and tends to get more attention than his/her companion, so its good to be sensitive to this.

2. When missionaries are paying a visit to your home, try your best to keep the televisions, radios, and computers off. This is so distracting when you're trying to keep the mission rules to not watch TV/movies, etc at all during your missionary service. Imagine if you were trying to avoid sweets and you went to a friend's house who had 100 cupcakes sitting on the table.

3. If missionaries are available to be invited to dinner, keep the visit under an hour. Its hard to leave when members/investigators want you to stay, but missionaries are usually taught to keep visits under an hour and they may have another appointment to get to. Every minute you keep them from their work is a minute that they could be finding someone new to teach.

4. Don't ask missionaries about their girlfriends or boyfriends back home. I know you're curious, but for someone who is trying to concentrate on the work, having people constantly bring up boyfriends/girlfriends can be hard. Especially if that significant other has recently dumped you via letter or email (happens a lot!). Imagine having people constantly bring the subject up when you're just trying to forget it.

5. When conversing with a missionary, try to keep conversations centered on Church-related or service-related issues.

6. Always respect the companionships of missionaries. Do not ask a missionary how well he or she is getting along with the assigned companion. (The missionary leadership will handle that question). Also, if they aren't getting along as a companionship or the missionary really can't stand his/her companion, they probably won't say so anyhow, which puts them in the awkward position of having to pretend that everything is peachy when they'd rather not discuss it with you.

7. Do not ask missionaries how many baptisms they have had. The number of baptisms is not an index of success. This is really an okay thing to wonder about, since we may be curious about how the missionary work is going in our area and throughout the mission. However, there are better ways to find out than to ask "How many baptisms?", which puts the focus on numbers. Here are some other ways you can ask essentially the same thing: "Have you been finding success in the area? (or "How was the work going in your last area?") or "What have been some of your favorite experiences with investigators so far?"

8. Do not expect missionaries to stay in contact with you after they have left an area or even after they have finished their mission service. Some missions have rules about whether missionaries can stay in contact with members in their former areas during the remainder of their missions. It may seem silly, but missionaries do need to focus on serving the members/investigators in their new area, so even if contact is allowed its best to keep it limited.

9. Do not call upon missionaries in Sunday School to provide scriptural support for some obscure doctrine that has been raised in class. The authority of missionaries is in missionary work, not in settling doctrinal debates. Most of the time they know the basics (thats what they study and that's what they are sent to teach), so don't assume that they are doctrinal experts.

10. Do not ask a Sister or an Elder for their first name. The first name is Sister or Elder. Period. I discovered on my mission that a lot of members think its fun to call full-time missionaries by their first name, even if its just in the member's home. They may mean well, seeing themselves as a parent-figure and wanting the missionary to feel a little more normal, but remember that the full-time missionaries go by their title for a reason - it helps them (and us) remember that they are set apart for a sacred mission)

Tips for baptism preparation

Part of the fellowshipping process is welcoming visitors and investigators from the very beginning of their experience with the Church. Then, when an investigator has a baptism date set, it should be like a green light for Ward-Missionaries to know that they need to really get moving to help that investigator prepare for activity in the Church!

We all know the symbolism of baptism and what it represents - the death/burial/resurrection of Christ, a new beginning, an outward sign that we are making a covenant, and more. Its also important to recognize that baptism also represents the transition from investigator to new member. And that is a transition that is best made with help from the Ward- Missionaries and other Ward members.

In our experience as Ward-Missionaries, we have seen a number of people fall away from the Church immediately after being baptized. If a person chooses not to participate in the Church or keep their baptismal covenants, that is a very sad thing. Since there is so much emphasis on the need for new-member fellowshipping, its easy to feel like we could have done something more to prevent it.

In some cases, there may have been more that we could have done to help the new convert become an active member. However, the truth is that sometimes the new member might not be willing to continue with their commitments, regardless of our efforts. In every case, we need to make sure that fellowshipping by Ward-Missionaries, Ward leaders, and other Ward members is taking place and that every thing possible is being done to help the new member make a successful transition. While the choice to remain active in the Church is ultimately their responsibility, we are responsible to do everything within our capacity to help them.

We have worked hard to try to make a smoother transition for our new-members by involving the Ward members (especially Ward-Missionaries), beginning with the pre-baptism stage. Of course, I am a strong advocate that we should increase our contact with new members immediately after baptism, and there are several posts on this site that discuss post-baptism fellowshipping and retention.

Here are some of the ideas we've come up with for pre-baptism fellowshipping....

SPECIFIC THINGS THAT WE CAN DO TO HELP A BAPTISM-CANDIDATE:

• We try to become familiar with each investigator as much as possible, especially when they have a firm baptism date set

• We really want to attend at least one pre-baptism teaching appointment with the full-time missionaries so we can explain that we will begin teaching them the new-member lessons after baptism, & set up an appointment for our first lesson if possible. In our experience, some full-time missionaries are more agreeable about this than others, so if we can’t visit them with the full-time missionaries we arrange our own pre-baptism visit

• We encourage the full-time missionaries to include as many ward members in the baptism program as possible (this helps get more members to the baptism and makes a connection between the member and their ward family)

• We can make sure that baptism candidate knows what to bring to the baptism (we have a handout that we give them). The full-time missionaries sometimes forget to tell people to wear white underwear, bring a towel, etc. We’ve had a lot of people forget to bring something, even if they’ve been told, so I try to have a spare towel, hairbrush, etc in the car just in case.

• We can help put the word out about upcoming baptisms and encourage as many ward members to attend as possible (by phone, email, or announcements at church).

• We give each baptism candidate a “Welcome to the Ward” packet (preferably several days before the baptism) and encourage them to invite their friends/family to attend*

• We attend convert baptisms

• We take photos of the convert in the lobby before the baptism (with the missionaries and without) and give them framed copies of their photo as a keepsake. We also make sure they have received a copy of their baptism program.

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These simple steps have made a big difference in our ability to get to know our investigators (especially those who are preparing for baptism). Any contact we have with them lets them know that we care and that we are available to help them. Without a doubt, the more comfortable a new member feels with the Ward members, the easier the transition into Ward membership will be for them and the more likely they will be to stay active.

*If you'd like more information on "Welcome to the Ward Packets", please see the "Welcome Packets" section on the right side of this page.

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CALLINGS FOR NEW CONVERTS

Callings for New Converts

Ward Mission Leaders and Ward Missionaries are occasionally asked for suggestions about potential callings for new converts in your Ward. While some callings might come to mind immediately because they seem like they would be great for new members, its important to consider the personality and skill level of the new member, as well as their current social needs. there I recently came across a great chart (on MissionaryLeaders.org) that has a list of callings and which characteristics of those particular callings might (or might not be) appropriate for some new converts.

For example, 'Sacrament Meeting Door Greeter' would be great for some new converts, because it requires Church attendance and helps them get more familiar with Ward members. On the other hand, there isn't any particular gospel-study preparation needed to do the calling and they usually wouldn't work with/learn from a more experienced Ward-member to perform the calling. Another possible downside would be that this calling could be interpreted by the new-member as unimportant (because they may feel they aren't needed as much as a teacher or leader).

Another example of a calling for a new member would be 'Assistant Primary Teacher', which would also require Church attendance (at least for the 2nd and/or 3rd hour) and would help the new member get to know some of the Ward members (other Primary teachers and Leaders, parents of students). In addition, this calling would require gospel learning (lesson preparation/participation) and would provide an opportunity for the new member to work closely with another member. A downside of this type of calling could be that it may limit the new member's participation/attendance in Sunday School and Relief Society or Priesthood meetings.

This chart isn't so much a list of 'good' and 'bad' callings (its not), but rather a list of characteristics that the callings have that you will want to consider (along with the new converts personality and abilities, of course).

It might be useful to print out and keep a copy of this chart to refer to if you should need to consider some suggestions for your new converts!

You can link to the page with this chart by clicking here: Possible Callings for New Members (you will be taken to the MissionaryLeaders.org website).

Released!

We were released from our callings as Ward-Missionaries (and my husband as Ward Mission Leader) last Sunday because my husband was called to be a Counselor in our new Bishopric. For me it is always a little difficult to be released from a calling because I have put so much of myself into it and built a relationship with so many people. The great thing is, since every member should be a member-missionary anyhow, it doesn't mean that I need to stop doing many of the fun things that ward-missionaries get to do - helping visitors feel welcome, fellowshipping new members, inviting non-member friends to Church & activities, etc....

And of course a new Ward Mission Leader has been called (and his wife as a Ward-Missionary), so I'm sure they will do great and the work and wonderful things will continue to happen.

I will keep this blog open for anyone who wants to reference it, but I probably won't be adding new posts anymore. I WILL continue to check for questions and comments on this blog, so feel free to let me know if you have any questions, etc.

Callings for New Converts

If you're a Ward Mission Leader, you may occasionally be asked for suggestions about possible callings for new converts in your Ward. I recently came across a great chart (on MissionaryLeaders.org) that has a list of callings and which characteristics of those particular callings might (or might not be) appropriate for some new converts.

For example, 'Sacrament Meeting Door Greeter' would be great for some new converts, because it requires Church attendance and helps them get more familiar with Ward members. On the other hand, there isn't any particular gospel-study preparation needed to do the calling and they usually wouldn't work with/learn from a more experienced Ward-member to perform the calling. Another possible downside would be that this calling could be interpreted by the new-member as unimportant (because they may feel they aren't needed as much as a teacher or leader).

Another example of a calling for a new member would be 'Assistant Primary Teacher', which would also require Church attendance (at least for the 2nd and/or 3rd hour) and would help the new member get to know some of the Ward members (other Primary teachers and Leaders, parents of students). In addition, this calling would require gospel learning (lesson preparation/participation) and would provide an opportunity for the new member to work closely with another member. A downside of this type of calling could be that it may limit the new member's participation/attendance in Sunday School and Relief Society or Priesthood meetings.

This chart isn't so much a list of 'good' and 'bad' callings (its not), but rather a list of characteristics that the callings have that you will want to consider (along with the new converts personality and abilities, of course).

It might be useful to print out and keep a copy of this chart to refer to if you should need to consider some suggestions for your new converts!

You can link to the page with this chart by clicking here: Possible Callings for New Members (you will be taken to the MissionaryLeaders.org website).

Ward Activity - "Talent (& No-Talent)" Show

We have been asked by our Stake to plan a Ward activity to go along with our Ward's upcoming "Invitation Sunday" (for more information on Invitation Sunday, see the section on this topic on the right side).

Based on the needs of our Ward, we wanted to come up with an activity that met a specific criteria. We want to have an activity that is casual and fun, so non-members can come to our Church building and get to know our Ward members in a positive atmosphere. We also want it to be an activity that our Ward members would be excited to attend and truly feel comfortable inviting their non-member friends/relatives to (without fearing a surprise sermon or missionary 'ambush').

The idea that we decided on is to have a Ward "Talent (and No-Talent)" Show. I have adapted this idea from a post about a 'No-Talent Show' Ward activity that I read about on The Idea Door website, here. We changed it to a Talent AND No-Talent show for our Ward because we thought we could get more participants if we offered a choice of performing conventional or non-conventional talents.

Here is the planning sheet that we used to plan the activity - it gives a good explanation of what the activity is about....

________________________________________________

Ward Activity Planning Sheet

Activity: Ward “Talent (and No-Talent)” Show*

Plan: Ward members volunteer to perform a talent (a regular talent or non-conventional talents) during a Ward “Talent (and No-Talent)” Show (followed by refreshments)

Examples of talents: singing, dance, musical instruments, etc

Examples of non-conventional talents: nose-whistling, packing a suitcase in 30 seconds, spinning plates, or ripping a phone book in half, etc

Purpose: Provide a fun activity that ward-members will be able to invite non-member friends/relatives to attend

Benefits: A “Talent & No-Talent” show activity is a fun way to familiarize non-member visitors with ward members in a casual atmosphere. We should have participants from all age groups (primary, youth, & adults) performing talents or non-talents. Participants may feel more excited to invite non-member friends/relatives because they (or a relative) are performing. This is an activity that can be enjoyed by performers and audience of all ages.

Display tables: We can have several display tables in the cultural hall. Some of these will have displays of non-performance talent by Ward members (paintings, crafts, etc). There will also be display table(s) near the door with Church information & pamphlets about our basic beliefs, how to learn more, etc.

Refreshments: We will ask several people in the ward who are talented in cake-decorating to each bring 1-dozen decorated cupcakes.

Things that would need to be done to pull-off a “No-Talent Show”:

Recruiting the ‘talent/no-talent’ performers (sign-up sheets, email, phone calls)

Pre-screening acts to make sure they are Church-appropriate

Arranging for an emcee

Advertising (specifically that this is a great event to invite non-members to)

Arranging the program (order of acts)

Setting up chairs and microphone

Providing refreshments at the end of the talent show

Create display tables for non-performance crafts (scrapbooking, woodworking, art, etc)

Create display tables with info about attending church & our basic beliefs, how to learn more, etc

Clean-up

*The term “Talent (& No-Talent) Show” isn’t meant to be demeaning to anyone. We are encouraging all types of talents and don’t want to discourage people who aren’t traditional performers. There will be no judging, prizes, or labeling of who is a ‘talent’ or a ‘no-talent’

__________________________

We have also come up with a handout that will be passed out at Church on Sunday with information for Ward members. This is meant to get the word out about the “Talent (& No-Talent) Show”and to (hopefully) encourage Ward members to sign up to perform. Here is the text from the handout:

_______________________

(Name of Ward here) Ward

"Talent (& No-Talent)" Show

(Date and time here)

Do you have a talent to share? We’re looking for acts to perform in the Ward Talent (& No-Talent) Show. It doesn’t matter if you’re traditionally ‘talented’ or not…There won’t be any judging - this is just for fun!

We’re looking for Ward members of all ages to do:

Conventional talents (like singing, dancing, juggling, yo-yo tricks, etc)

OR

Non-conventional talents (like nose-whistling, packing a suitcase in 30 seconds, spinning plates, or ripping a phone book in half, etc…)

Sign-up sheets will be passed in classes on Sundays. Not a performer? Please sign up anyhow- There will also be a display table for people who want to share their non-performance talents (like painting, woodworking, scrapbooking, sewing, etc).

Even if you don’t have a talent you’d like to share, please plan to come as an audience member and BRING A FRIEND! This activity is being organized by (insert names here), please contact us for more info (insert phone number here)

Christmas-time Activities & Church Attendance

If your ward/Stake has upcoming Christmas-related events, make sure to advertise these activities especially to your new members and less-active members. In every ward I've been in, it has been very easy to get less-active (or inactive) members to come to an activity if its Christmas-related. I believe that this is because many people (even if they aren't actively attending Church) equate the holidays with Church attendance. Going to Church at Christmas-time may be something they grew up with, even if they didn't attend Church or Church-related activities any other time of the year.

At our Ward's most recent Christmas party, we saw many people who hadn't been to Church or a Church function in 6 months or more. And a several of them brought along their non-member relatives and friends. This is a great opportunity for us to reach out and fellowship these brothers and sisters, and their friends and relatives.

Be on the lookout, also, on Christmas Day (since it falls on Sunday this year), for those less-active or inactive members who may feel inspired to attend Church BECAUSE it is Christmas. What a special opportunity for them to feel the Spirit and remember why they joined the Church in the first place!

Christmas Cards = Gospel Sharing

Merry Christmas everyone! We came up with an idea to encourage our ward members to keep sharing the gospel this Christmas season. I am in contact with many of our ward members on facebook and through an email group, so I sent this email (below) out last week. It outlines our plan for using Joy to the World "Pass-Along Cards" in Christmas cards being sent to non-member friends or relatives:

"Ward members- This Christmas season, we have come up with an idea for inviting friends and relatives to learn more about our beliefs in a very easy way. Most of you are probably familiar with the Church’s “pass along cards” (small index-size cards with a picture on one side and Church info on the other side)...


Our idea is to offer the “Joy to the World” theme pass-along cards to any ward members who would like to include them in Christmas cards they will be sending to non-members (either local or in other areas). The card would easily fit inside any Christmas card. It has a picture of Mary and baby Jesus on the front, with the words, “Joy to the World”. On the back of the card, it says, “Bring the spirit of Christmas into your home with the story of the Saviour’s birth and His life, featuring music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir” (there is a picture of the FREE “Joy to the World” DVD that is being offered, and the 800 number to call).


Please note, when people call for the DVD they are asked if they would like to learn more about the gospel, but meeting with the full-time missionaries is not required and they are trained to be very polite.

Including a “pass-along” card in with a Christmas card is a simple, easy way to offer a church-related gift and a non-aggressive opportunity for them to learn about our beliefs if they wish. You never know - there may be people on your Christmas card list who may jump at the chance for a free DVD and may be very interested in learning more about our beliefs!

I have ordered 200 “Joy to the World” pass-along cards and they will be available soon for anyone who would like to include them in some of their Christmas cards. We are providing the pass-along cards to our ward members at no charge. If you have any questions or are interested in having some of these pass-along cards to send out, please let me know (and how many you would like).

PS- The free “Joy to the World” DVDs are meant as a missionary tool for non-members, so church members are asked not to call for free DVDs. The “Joy to the World” DVD is available to purchase for $1.50 from Church Distribution if you would like to buy a copy of the movie for yourself"


Many Christmas cards that would be sent by our ward members would probably be to members in other areas/missions, but thats okay. Sharing the gospel is always a good thing, even if we don't directly see the results in our own ward. Also, even being presented with this idea gets ward members thinking - who are their non-member friends and relatives and would they be receptive to something like this?


To order pass-along cards, go to the online store at www.lds.org. They are $2.00 for a pack of 100 cards (there is no charge for shipping). Please note, it may be too late for you to order 'pass-along cards', as many people are sending out their cards in early December. Another option would be to check with your Bishopric to see if your ward has a stockpile of pass-along cards somewhere that you could have. Or, your ward's full-time missionaries might have some of these cards as well. If you do order pass-along cards and they arrive late in the month, you can always encourage members to give them to people personally (or include them in gift-baskets, etc).

I personally prefer the Joy to the World cards to the other pass-along cards that are available (because they are Christmas-themed), but you could probably use any variety of pass-along card if the Joy to the World cards aren't available to you.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Plan now for General Conference Reminders

General Conference is coming up in a few weeks! If you've ever forgotten it was Conference Weekend, you know there is nothing worse than showing up for church on time at your regular Ward building and seeing an empty parking lot!

For long-time members, General Conference isn't anything unusual, but for investigators and recent converts, General Conference is a new concept. While we may all know where to go (and when) the first weekend of April and October (or at least how to look it up), new members may not have a clue.

Here are some ideas to help you make sure that everyone you're working with has the opportunity to watch General Conference (and NOT show up for Church at the regular place/time):

#1- Announce (and explain) General Conference in Gospel Essentials Sunday School class for at least 2 weeks prior to Conference. Even if you explain it once, not everyone may be paying attention and there may be some people missing from class the first time. Be sure to emphasize that there will not be any regular Church meetings on Conference Sunday - the Conference broadcasts will replace regular Church meetings on this Sunday.

#2- Provide a handout* (sample shown below) that has a basic explanation of General Conference and the dates/times/viewing options appropriate for your area. Hand these out in Sunday School and before/after Sacrament meeting during the 2 weeks before Conference, so you can catch as many people as possible. I usually make extras of these handouts and give them to our full-time missionaries so they have something to give to investigators who may be interested in attending.

#3- If you send out a new member newsletter, include the explanation of General Conference and the dates/times/viewing options for your area, etc. Again, be sure to emphasize that there will not be any regular Church meetings on Conference Sunday - the Conference broadcasts will replace the regular Church meetings on this Sunday. Yes, its repeating yourself, but this is often misunderstood by new members.

#4- Consider asking Ward leaders (if appropriate) to announce General Conference times/viewing options (in Relief Society, Priesthood, etc). Some Wards do this, others do not.

#5- Reminder phone calls (or emails) - as a last minute reminder, it doesn't hurt to give a quick call or email on Friday to remind investigators/new members that its Conference weekend.

#6- If possible, consider inviting some investigators or new members to your home to view Conference with your family (or to attend Conference with you at a Church building providing the broadcast)

You don't have to use all of these methods, of course, but I feel like the more reminders, the better. This may seem like overkill, but I'd rather repeat myself 4 times than have someone tell me later that they showed up for Church and nobody was there and/or they missed General Conference because they didn't know about it.


*My handouts usually look something like this (times and viewing options will vary by region, this is just shown for example):


General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
October 1st and 2nd

General Conference is held twice a year and is broadcast from Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City to members all over the world. Speakers will include the Prophet (President of the Church), members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and other Church Leaders. Since each of the 4 sessions of the Conference will feature different speakers and different topics, Church members watch all 4 sessions.

DATES/TIMES:
Saturday the 1st- morning session 9:00-11:00am
and afternoon session 1:00-3:00pm
AND
Sunday the 2nd- morning session 9:00-11:00am
and afternoon session 1:00-3:00pm

VIEWING OPTIONS:
AT HOME: If you get BYU-Channel or local access Channel __, you can view all 4 Conference broadcasts at home on your tv.

AT CHURCH: All 4 Conference broadcasts are shown on a large movie screen in the chapel at the Stake Center (located at _________). Sunday-clothing is appropriate if you attend in the chapel.

ONLINE: All 4 Conference broadcasts can be viewed at the Church's official website, www.lds.org

Please mark your calenders - there are no regular Church meetings this weekend - instead, everyone will be attending Conference broadcasts (either at home or at the Stake Center Building)




See you at Conference!

New member social success!

(This post was created months ago, but never posted for some reason...)

We had a great 'dessert social' for some of our new members tonight. It was held at the Bishop's home and it went really well. We have about 17 adults who were baptized in the last few years, and of those 17 the Bishop selected 9 (plus their spouses & kids, if applicable) to invite to this social. We were somewhat limited on space because it was held in a home, which was the reason for the limit on attendees, but we hope to have more "socials" like this in the future. It was a great way for newer members to socialize (with each other, the Bishop, and the ward-missionaries) outside of Church.

Ward Mission Correlation Meeting Agenda

Our ward mission leader came up with this agenda for our weekly correlation meeting (attended by the ward mission leader, ward missionaries, and full-time missionaries). Its organization is based on the three-fold mission of the Church:

WARD MISSION CORRELATION AGENDA

DATE:____________



PERFECT THE SAINTS

New-convert progress-

Less-active member fellowshipping efforts-


PROCLAIM THE GOSPEL

New investigators-

Current investigator progress-


REDEEM THE DEAD

Upcoming new-member temple trips-

Genealogy outreach for new-members-


Next week’s Gospel Essentials Sunday School lesson- _____________________________

Should I keep calling?

We have several new members (who haven't completed their new member lessons within their first year of membership) who hadn't been returning our calls for 2 or 3 months. I finally decided to stop calling these people for a while. This was partly because it wasn't getting anywhere, and partly because I suspected that if I kept calling them (when they clearly didn't want to talk to me) they would get increasing annoyed with me and/or the Church. I did continue to send them our monthly new member newsletter, I just stopped calling to try to set up appointments to visit them for a while.

Its now been several months since I stopped calling these particular people, so I felt like it was an appropriate time to take some sort of action. After prayerfully considering each person and their circumstances, I called some of the people. I had to leave voice messages, so I simply said that I wanted to speak with them about something and did not mention the new member lessons at all.

I was happy to get a return phone call today, and I sincerely apologized that I had not been in contact lately. I explained that there was a reason I had stopped calling (I explained that it was because I hadn't heard back from them in a long time, so I felt like maybe I was being a bother). I said that I didn't want them to think that I didn't care or that I'd forgotten them, because I care about them a lot. It was well received and went very well overall.

For those people who I didn't feel like I should call, I am going to send out a short letter. I got the idea from this from a sales article I happened to read recently. The article was about how to "make sales" even when people aren't returning your phone calls. The basic idea was to send a letter with a note that the person can return to you to let you know their intentions. Here is my version, which is specific to this circumstance:

Hello, just a quick note - If you're wondering why I haven't called you lately, to be honest, its because I'd been leaving voice messages for several weeks, but I wasn't getting any response. I started to worry that maybe I was being a pest. I didn't want to come across as pushy if you were too busy, or just not interested in meeting.

I didn't want you to think that I don't care or that I don't want to meet with you. Exactly the opposite, I care about you a lot and would be really happy to be able to teach you your remaining new member lessons.

I'm just not sure what the situation is if I don't hear from you, so I'm hesitant to keep calling. I've included a sheet that you can fill out and send back to me in a stamped envelope (also included). I know you're busy, so I was thinking that this might be an easy way for you to let me know whether or not you'd like to have the rest of your new member lessons at this time. If you'd rather just call or message me on facebook instead, thats fine, too. I hope you can get back to me- I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or annoyed if there is any reason you don't want me to call...

Sincerely,

(and here is the note I will include)

To help me understand if you would like me to continue to try to contact you at this time or not, please check the box that best fits your situation:

o I'm swamped right now! Try to call me again after a couple of weeks.

o Don't quit trying. I do want to meet with you, I'm just hard to get a hold of.

o I'm have family/personal issues that are preventing me from meeting with you at my home, but I would like to meet with you at a different home or at another place like a restaurant.

o Don't call me, I've got personal reasons why I can't meet with you right now, but I'll call you soon when I am able to meet.

o I'm not interested in having the rest of my new member lessons at this time, please don't contact me for a while.

Return this sheet to me in the envelope provided (or, if you prefer, you can just call me at ___-___-____)

Thanks so much,

You may notice that I left out more negative choices (such as "I hate you, never call me again," or "Take my name off your Church records"). I tried to keep it positive and encourage the best possible response. Even if a person chooses the "I'm not interested in having the rest of my new member lessons at this time, please don't contact me for a while" option, I've still tried to word it in a positive way and I've left it open so that I can still contact them again "in a while." Of course, they might write in their own option, or just not respond at all, but at this point I would rather know something than just keep wondering where they stand.

Teaching ward members to be member missionaries

As outlined in the new handbook, one of the responsibilities of ward missionaries is to teach the members of the ward to do member missionary work. One way we do this is by example, but I've been feeling lately that example isn't enough. We need to teach and encourage them as well. We've been talking about how specifically to do that, and we've mostly come up with a lot of things we don't want to do or aren't able to do at this time.

Our full-time missionaries need people to teach, and all of our ward convert baptisms over the past 2 years have been the result of tracting or baptisms from part-member families. NO regular member referrals. We need to work on that, and I'm sure most wards have similar needs.

The handbook mentions visiting the home of members to encourage them, so I've been thinking a lot about how we can do that and what we would say when we got there.

Here is what I came up with last night. I haven't had our ward mission leader (my husband, currently at work) approve this yet, but this was the idea I had and some of you might find it helpful, even if we don't end up using it.

I want to add that many people find it useful to use the 'set a date' program, and that is definitely something that has been popular and used frequently for many years. I personally prefer to avoid that program, or at the very least using the term "set a date program" because I feel that when people hear that phrase they instantly start thinking up excuses why they can't or won't "set a date" to have someone prepared to be baptized. Personally, as soon as I hear the words "set a..." coming out of someone's mouth, I immediately think, "Oh no, here we go again". I realize that this is probably not the best attitude to have, but I have heard it so many times and I personally have never seen anything come of it over the years, as a member or a full-time missionary. I have always found being naturally gospel-sharing to be more effective than a program. Programs like this always seem to be forced and number-focused, and that feels very unnatural to me. That said, if I am asked by a leader to "set a date,:" I do, but it is definitely not my preferred method and it isn't what I prefer to teach others to do, if I have my choice. That is my personal opinion.
But I digress...

I would like to visit the homes of 10 ward members (prayerfully selected) before the end of the month and challenge them to do at least 1 minute of member missionary work during the following month. I've created a handout that explains what we are asking, and lists 5 simple ideas for things that they can do to help with new convert retention and missionary work. I've purposely selected 5 things that require very little time or effort and are fairly "non-scary" to most (some are 'easier' than others). I've also included the approximate time-commitment required, sort of tongue-in-cheek because people always say they "don't have time" to do missionary work. Here is the handout:

If every member of our ward spends just

1 minute on missionary work this month, it will go a long way toward helping

new converts stay active and finding new people for the full-time missionaries to teach!

Will YOU commit to help? Here are some great ideas of simple (& non-scary)

things you can do that require no more than

1 extra minute of your time...

__ As you do your visiting teaching/home teaching visits this month, make a special effort to befriend any less-active or new-convert members on your route. Extra time commitment required: 0 (you're already going to visit teach/home teach anyhow!)

__ Introduce yourself to at least one new visitor, investigator, or new convert at church (or at an activity) every week. Bonus awesomeness points for sitting with them! Extra time commitment required: 1 minute per week

__ Invite a new convert (and their family, if applicable) over for a family dinner or family home evening this month. Extra time commitment required: less than 1 minute to invite (you're already having dinner or FHE anyhow!)

__ Invite a non-member (friend or relative) to the next church activity that they would be interested in. Extra time commitment required: less than 1 minute to invite (you're already going to the activity anyhow!)

__ Invite a non-member (friend or relative) to your home for a special family home evening with the full-time missionaries. Explain that as part of your family night, the Elders will be teaching everyone a short gospel lesson (please give the full-time missionaries plenty of notice so that they can prepare and arrange their schedule). Extra time commitment required: less than 1 minute to invite (you're already having FHE anyhow!)

If you can commit to doing at least one of these simple actions this month, post this sheet where you will see it as a reminder!

If you need contact info for a new convert, or if we can help you in any way,

please give us a call-

(insert names and phone numbers of ward mission leader and/or ward-missionaries here)

You may have noticed that I didn't ask people to give away a Book of Mormon or a pass-along card, engage in a gospel conversation, invite a friend to Church, etc. These are the usual things that we would normally ask ward members to do, but they are also much more intimidating. I wanted to start by asking people to commit to do things that they would actually feel comfortable doing, and therefore more likely to actually DO. Once they start having their own positive missionary experiences, they will be more likely to want to do more in the future. You have to start somewhere!

Will I give someone a card?

We had our full-time missionaries over for dinner tonight and before they left they handed each of us a pass-along-card and asked if we would look for an opportunity to give it to someone within the next week. We all agreed to do so, but I was thinking to myself, as I always do in this situation, 'I don't know anyone who I can give this to'...and I really don't. I don't work outside the home, I spend a lot of time with educating my kids and serving in my calling, and the neighbors aren't the friendly type.

The only people I've met lately were a couple of the parents from my 11 year old daughter's soccer team. Frankly, its a very competitive, undefeated team and my daughter has never played before, so I sort of get the 'stink-eye' from the other parents if she misses the ball during a game...not exactly fertile friendship ground!

Anyhow, I am going to have a positive attitude and carry the card around with me, anyhow. If there is someone that is prepared and seeking the truth, and the Lord will somehow put them in my path, I will be ready!

Musical numbers at convert baptism services

For a long time there was a practice of having all of the full-time missionaries in our Stake do a musical number at each convert baptism service. What had started out as a musical number to help fill the time while people changed their clothes had gradually turned into a musical number that was part of the program (because the missionary doing the baptizing wanted to participate in the song and/or they wanted the new member to be able to hear the song, as well).

It was fine, but it did extend the length of the program quite a bit (often they performed a slow 4-verse hymn) and still left that long waiting period while the convert and person doing the baptizing were changing. Eventually this practice was changed altogether, because of a change in mission president, who asked that this practice of having all of the full-time missionaries perform together at baptisms discontinue. Policies may differ in your area, this is just how things are run currently in our area.

So, we haven't had any musical numbers at all recently, just because this was always something that was planned by the missionaries in the past and has been somewhat overlooked. The intermediate time while people are changing is usually filled by Elders from another ward standing up in the front and teaching a gospel principle or two. Since it can take a while for people to change, it is a long time for the Elders to try to stretch something out and people tend to start to fidget.

My husband (Ward mission leader) thought it would be nice to have a short musical number performed during that changing time, which would be followed by the Elders' remarks in whatever time is remaining. He got the 'ok' from our Bishop, and tasked me with gathering a list of names of people who might be interested in performing in the future.

I started with a message on facebook, "Attention musically talented people in the area: I'm trying to put together a list of people who might be able to do musical numbers for upcoming convert baptism services...solo, duet, whatever...vocal or musical instrument. This isn't for a specific date, just need a list of people who might be willing if we want a musical number in the future. We usually have a 1-2 weeks notice. If you would be able to help, let me know!"

I may follow up with personal messages to people that I know have performed in the past, and possibly a sign-up sheet at church, depending on how much of a response I get.

I suggested to my husband that to avoid potential disappointment, it might be good to specify ahead of time that the musical number will be performed during the waiting period, so that they understand that the new convert most likely won't be in the room to hear the musical number.

I thought I'd mention this on this blog because, as always, I'm interested in getting as many ward members to convert baptisms as possible, and it occurred to me that this is another great way to do that!

Ideas for Adult Converts

I'm always on the lookout for new ideas for gifts, books, programs, clipart etc. for our converts. When I was at Deseret Book recently, I noticed a large amount of items for child baptisms, but not a lot specifically for adult baptisms. If you go to deseretbook.com and type 'baptism' in the search box, you'll see all sorts of scrapbooking supplies, picture books, embroidered towels, etc, but almost everything is specifically for children.

We have a lot of child-of-record baptisms in the church, but we're also a missionary church, so its kind of surprising to me that there isn't more available for adult convert baptisms. I'm sure its a supply and demand issue - people are just more likely to buy a gift for a child or grandchild being baptized and we may not put as much thought into preparing things (like programs) for convert baptisms. But that doesn't mean that there aren't things available that we can purchase or make that are adult specific, we just have to look a little harder or be a little more creative.

Here are some things that I've come up with that are appropriate for adult convert baptisms:

Programs: In the past we used just a plain paper program with a scripture printed on the front. I wanted to make the program a little more special, so we recently started ordering pre-printed programs from Deseret Book - they are @ $8.00 for 100 programs. I usually print about 20-25 for most of our baptisms, so one package lasts for 4 or 5 baptisms. They have several styles that feature pictures of Christ's baptism that are appropriate for adults. Here is the one we usually use - I like this one because it has the scripture I like to use to the front (if you click on the photo you will be taken to Deseret Book's page for ordering information)...

(For more info about printing programs, see post re: baptism program templates under 'baptism services' topic at right).

Clip-art: I mainly use clipart images on the handouts that I leave with newly baptized members after they've had a new-member lesson. For example, for one of the new-member lessons that talks about covenants, I like to include images of baptism and the sacrament. Most of the baptism clipart I've found is of baptisms for 8 year olds from 'the Friend' magazine. Here are two images of adult (or teen) baptisms that I found on sugardoodle.net :

Gifts: Any type of gift is totally optional, but I feel that any type of gift, no matter how humble, gives the convert a personal memento of the occasion and conveys the message that we care for them.

We normally give each convert a framed photo (of the convert(s) dressed in white, standing with the missionaries in the lobby before their baptism). I write a personal 'congratulations' message on the back of the frame, which includes the baptism date. For the past few baptisms I've been buying wooden frames similar to these (they come in several colors) that cost around $5.00. I find that frames like these work well with almost any decor style, but any type of frame will do.


Some other gift ideas that I've seen:

Baptism bracelet (for ladies). This is actually a child's bracelet, but can be purchased in different lengths at whiteelegance.com (click on the photo to link to their site). Or you could make something similar yourself if you're crafty.
Soap Craft - I've seen these with different words on them, but I think it would be great to have a baptism/repentance theme quote, words, or scripture as a long-lasting reminder of their baptism day. Sugardoodle.net has a great tutorial (here) for making soap bottles like these for less than $2.00 each, and you can put any words or image on them that you like...maybe something like, "Be Clean"?:


Temple Lines website sells patterns of various temples for making handkerchiefs or other crafts (click on photo)
And there are many websites with temple-related crafts that can be given as gifts to adult converts, such as these temple photo block kits from poppyseedprojects.com. I think temple-themed gifts are especially appropriate for adult converts, since they will immediately begin preparing to attend the temple when they are baptism.